Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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