She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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