I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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