Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
