Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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