How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize