I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
