That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i came on her dog
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
