wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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