How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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