i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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