I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize