I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize