We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
