wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
