she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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