Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
