Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
