office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
