If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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