I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
