WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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