ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
