I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
