i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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