you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
