So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
