she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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