Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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