Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
