Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
