Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
