I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
her vagine was all disorganized.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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