Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
