She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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