I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
