6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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