you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
