It's Friday. Sex?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
