After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
