mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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