She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize