ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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