Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
