My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
