That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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