Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
