Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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