I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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