We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
