btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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