I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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