is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize