His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
