so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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