Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
