____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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