There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
