Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
